Just do it. No one would care. Death is better than this.
You know the kind of nights I'm describing. I'm sure you even pictured a night you've had just like that. Those are the nights where the urges are worst, although the urges might not leave throughout the day either; nights are worse. You think about death. Your own death. Your own death at your own hand. Oh dear, how many times have you plotted your own death? How often do you fantasize about suicide? You reason that no one loves you anyway, that this life is too hard, it would be so much easier to just leave it all behind. You think that you may as well just be dead.
But I'm here to tell you otherwise. I'm here to speak against the voices in your mind. You have a purpose. I know you do because you were created by God and He created you with purpose. I know you get scared; you think the weight is too much and you'll break under it all, but in great stories and movies, the hero always has to put up a fight, because what value is the triumph if it is not paid for by trials? You must persevere. At the end you will see that it was worth it; it was all worth fighting for. One day you'll be able to look back and say "Wow! I made it." And you'll be able to see all the people you impacted on the way here. You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us that its going to be okay, that we can make it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know its dark and I know it seems hopeless but its in our despair that we find Christ; its here that He carries us.
You tell the voices in your head to shut up because you can make it. You're a fighter and you're not going down today. You can make it. I don't care how hopeless it looks or how weak you feel, let God be your strength. Call out to Him and He will rescue you. This is war; and the good news is, in God there is victory. Put your faith in Him! Yes life is hard and yes there will be times when you want to give up but please, please don't. You are so much stronger then you know. Its dark right now but light is ahead, and that knowledge should keep you going. You can choose to press on. Strength is a choice.
You're going to want to give up.