I looked around. We were standing in a kitchen at a youth group gathering, and my friend wanted me to dance? There was no music playing. In the room where we stood, people were passing by, grabbing soda's and chips as they did so. But this freshman girl, one whom I have known for quite some time, wanted me to dance. She loves dancing, of course, anyone would have known that by the look on her face that moment. She had been asking everyone if they would allow her to teach them to dance. Everyone else she had asked had shaken their heads sheepishly. I wanted to do the same thing. After all, it would be foolish to dance around someone's kitchen without music and without reason. Besides, I'm a horrible dancer. I made a mental list of all the reasons I simply couldn't comply to her request.
I suck at dancing.
I'm not fit enough.
People will think I'm an idiot.
People will laugh at me.
You're going to make a fool of yourself.
That was what my mind told me. But there was one thing deep inside me that whispered "But Faith, you love to dance." Because deep inside me I wanted so badly to say yes; yet my insecurities held me down. I'm sure you've been in similar situations before. You want to let go of your self consciousness and your fear and simply be yourself, but you're worried about how people will receive you.You're worried you won't look perfect or you'll make a mistake or you'll get laughed at. Those voices will whisper lies, and maybe some half truths, to make you back down. It takes courage to stand up to them, and courage is something you lack. But there is one thing that tells you to go for it. And that voice is coming from God. From somewhere deep down inside you, He's cheering your on. He didn't create you to be shy or timid or afraid, He created you to be bold and courageous. (2 Timothy 1:7.) Even if that means dancing in a kitchen like a weirdo. Maybe for you, to be strong and brave means to finally join in that game of Just Dance you've secretly always wanted to, or to raise your hand in class, or to wear your hair in a way that isn't popular; maybe to be brave for you means to audition for American Idol, or to show your skill in a talent show, or to go a day without makeup. There are many of ways to be brave. And let me tell you, each day you don't allow insecurity to tie you down, is another day where you get stronger; another day where you choose freedom instead of enslavement.
You were created to live in freedom. You were never meant to live as if you were terrified of other's opinions. You were not meant to live like this.
As I thought more and more about this, I came to realize that I was letting my fear hinder me from doing something I love with someone I love. I realized how messed up that was. I was letting fear dictate me life and my choices, and I looked back on previous times in my life where I let fear win. It never left me satisfied or happy. It always left me wondering how I would have felt had I done what I really wanted.
So, I made my decision.
"Yes." I told her. I set my backpack down and I let this girl teach me how to dance.
I had a blast.
There were people watching, (some of them even judging.) and yes, others were laughing. But I chose not to care. It was hard. There were moments I felt like a complete moron for dancing, but somewhere I found the ability to laugh at myself. I wasn't a prima ballerina; heck, I wasn't even decent. But I didn't let insecurity boss me around. And that's what counts. I wanted to share that story with you because I want you to see that it's possible to overcome the lies and the voices that say "don't do it." It's possible because God is stronger than the lies. I hope that someday you find courage. It may not come overnight; as in most cases it doesn't. But it's acquired over time. It comes a bit more each time you choose to be free.
Go tell insecurity who's boss.