Hey guys! It's Diana. So some of you may have read my previous post and know that I did struggle with self harm, I didn't cut enough to get scars but I did have my moments with it.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3: 17
In one of my recent conversations with one of our twitter followers I was confronted with a question that I was not expecting, she asked me "do you get tempted easily or start thinking about harming yourself when others talk about it and stuff?"
That really surprised me, I was not expecting that. Believe it or not, I do. Although I do not miss doing self harm, it is appetizing. Something about it is just so...satisfying. At this point in my life I don't have a reason to do self harm, things can be stressful but I can't complain. That's when I realized something: self harm doesn't always come with a reason. Sometimes you just want to do it, once your brain has had something or experienced something, that sensation stays with you and if you liked it once, you will have the urge to have it again. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like again, it has been so long that I have forgotten the feeling, sometimes my mind does whisper to me "do it". I refuse to let that whisper turn into a shout.
Self harm is not something that will just disappear from your life, you're gonna have to fight through it, because you are worth it. The more I think of you guys and how you are constantly cutting, the more I wonder what has led you there, to the point of suffering that much. I've been reading up on self harm and I kind of want to give you guys some tips to cope with self harm. Let me just say that this fight will get A LOT easier, but it won't end, you can recover, you can get through this, of course you can and you will win many battles. I have won some and I have lost some and I'm realizing that this war is not over yet, but I will not let those thoughts rule over me, I will not let self harm win, I am strong and I can do this, I know that God loves me, the people in my life love me and this does not control me. This war is not over and I'm not giving up anytime soon.
- Self harm is usually a result of a lot of emotional pain. To release that pain and anxiety, or to feel something because you have been numbed by all the emotional pain, most people engage in self harm. Before hurting yourself, try to take all of that out in a different way, distract yourself. Write about it, talk to someone, listen to music, do whatever it is you have to do to resist the urge.
- I know a lot of times you DO want to engage in this, I know I did, but it will only get more and more addicting. I read this somewhere and I think it will help: "In some cases the urge to harm yourself may be so great that all you can do is to minimize the risks involved. Methods for doing this include holding ice cubes in your palm and attempting to crush them, fitting an elastic band around your wrist and flicking it, or plucking the hairs on your arms and legs."
- If you are doing self harm because you hate your body and you enjoy hurting it. Then learn to embrace your body, avoid mirrors if you hate looking at them, remind yourself that you are beautiful (or handsome) whether you see it or not. This is one of those things that begins with your self esteem, work on your self-esteem because trust me: you are something special.
- Running or exercising can help distract you and let out some steam and emotions. Long runs or long walks help you think.
- Above all, seek help. I know it can be frightening and stressful but you are not alone, you have us and you have tons of professionals out there who would love to help you.
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3: 17
"Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fightfor you." Deuteronomy 3:22
And finally a verse from me to you, dedicated to you, never forget these words:
"...Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay...." Ruth 1:16
God bless
~Diana